ESRB Apologizes To DOA:Paradise

ESRB has come out and apologized for their summary of Dead or Alive: Paradise, in which they said it contained "creepy voyeurism" saying that it was a posting error and have subsequently replaced the summary with a more PC version.

"The rating summary for Dead or Alive Paradise was posted to our website in error, and we have since replaced that version with the corrected one. We recognize that the initial version improperly contained subjective language and that issue has been addressed."

"Our intention with rating summaries is to provide useful, detailed descriptions of game content that are as objective and informative as possible. However they are ultimately written by people and, in this case, we mistakenly posted a rating summary that included what some could rightfully take to be subjective statements."

"We sincerely regret the error and will work to prevent this from happening again in the future."

This is due to the fact that ESRB is supposed to stay unbiased and the previous summary seemed to have been written by some feminist freedom fighter. With them lamenting on about how this is not what women really want, well no duh right. At least they mentioned the important stuff like "Paradise cannot mean straddling felled tree trunks in dental-floss thongs." However, ESRB has once again managed to provide a bit of entertainment with their summaries you can find below the unedited version of the summary for DOA:Paradise.

"This is a video game in which users watch grown women dressed in G-string bikinis jiggle their breasts while on a two-week vacation. Women’s breasts and butts will sway while playing volleyball, while hopping across cushions, while pole dancing, while posing on the ground, by the pool, on the beach, in front of the camera. There are other activities: Users can gamble inside a casino to win credits for shopping; they can purchase bathing suits, sunglasses, hats, clothing at an island shop; they can “gift” these items to eight other women in hopes of winning their friendship, in hopes of playing more volleyball. And as relationships blossom from the gift-giving and volleyball, users may get closer to the women, having earned their trust and confidence: users will then be prompted to zoom-in on their friends’ nearly-naked bodies, snap dozens of photos, and view them in the hotel later that night."

"Parents and consumers should know that the game contains a fair amount of “cheesy,” and at times, creepy voyeurism—especially when users have complete rotate-pan-zoom control; but the game also contains bizarre, misguided notions of what women really want (if given two weeks, paid vacation, island resort)—Paradise cannot mean straddling felled tree trunks in dental-floss thongs."

For more titillation and dental-floss thongs (only if there in a game) be sure to check back at Game Attic.